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新年的第一天就有好消息，朋友圈里季楊楊發(fā)了一張小嬰兒攥緊的拳頭照片，配文：母子平安，時間是凌晨四點鐘。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;FLD5VzJtjZhTpwHnqPv97C26GU0MyAgSErmYflac&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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我發(fā)自心底為他們高興，這兩個都是我年少時期的好朋友，看他們結(jié)婚生子，幸福圓滿，萬千感慨涌到嘴邊是一句：恭喜。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;x5Bd2utEZODJvKwjkHLNUiIcWXhYG6m0g4SsPQ1e&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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對著手機發(fā)怔之時身旁的人醒來，我低頭看她睡眼惺忪的迷糊模樣，心里柔軟，現(xiàn)在的我何嘗不幸福呢，我求了那么久的愿望終于實現(xiàn)，我知足了。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;eLB52biZtTnzuhHCK7NPx689kQplW3vy1JDswAEY&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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輕輕吻了吻她的眉心，低聲溫柔，“陶子今晨四點生了，是個男孩?！?amp;lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;FyX3orG4cda5YtDSQRjsU92JTwZPv0MBzkfVhClA&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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英寶倏地睜大眼睛，直愣愣看我，我笑，亮屏給她看上面的內(nèi)容，她拿過來認認真真確認，慢慢彎起嘴角，再然后濕了眼眶，指尖小心翼翼去點那個小拳頭。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;rBmiMat26sehG7LXHkWFQYOcNEypJo0nf1V4IvxP&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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我心疼地吻她的眼睛，“這是好事?！?amp;lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;dJsin7fgvUAwTmRX4y3tB6Vl8Kr1eWkPHx0F2bO9&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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她呢喃應和，“是，是好事。”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;hLkwvHC9OKDmiTegt3B87EsQU4Wru6j0nSYdZJzy&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“……男孩兒……陶子和楊楊的寶寶，一定很好看，”她眼睛里有光，戀戀不舍地看照片，“……半夜生的……陶子辛苦了……”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;qlPje0aOSNJc3isW5wmr1o2Md6nGb74QpIzxDhyY&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“你想她了？”我一瞬不瞬盯著她，“我可以問問楊揚，等他們什么時候有空，我們?nèi)ヌ酵兆雍蛯殞殹！?amp;lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;ROAkXuBLCoPT0Ud9IVY5a6FEmGzbqNci4Whg2n18&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“可以嗎？”她下意識轉(zhuǎn)頭來看我。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;f1CIbO0nevUNrWd6FylxMQ7qzZ4RcY8Bkjho5DHV&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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我失笑，“當然。陶子一定很高興見到你。你倆不是約定好你要當寶寶的干媽？不想去見見自己的干兒子？”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;LN1Qg3v6JrPdsh5Z9lj84tyAeboBS2fkaViTOpUF&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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她眼睛里的光卻慢慢湮息下去，搖了搖頭，“……算了?！?amp;lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;myKUjdVtk4hfM9nxeE3cRAuSoI10LZpY5CJWvlzT&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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她不再說話，把手機塞回我手里，翻過去拿后背對我，長發(fā)遮掩住小臉看不見情緒。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;LTJxhKo0uP9q5Q7kgHpB3iZFN6M2Rzy1DmEOGjUX&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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我愣住，剛剛不是說得好好的，怎么心情突然低落了？&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;kCh7NbvyfsG2gair8eFd1AV5MqB3DuHXJjEKxLwc&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“怎么不高興了？是我說錯什么了嗎？”手搭她的肩想翻過來，她抗拒。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;1yZEOFHN5wjP4vxBqhpXb9GJkRS2VrKlYmf03oa8&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“英寶，英寶？”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;tUZzj6PKilfB1YkuEvs2nxqMhr4SaGFwIAQc385y&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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她依舊不語。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;ixjFHf5rw2X6AgnMYa7l8p3zKRsSOycNZDJho0m1&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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沉默了會兒，我妥協(xié)，決定讓她自己冷靜一下，“我去給你做早餐，想吃什么？面條還是炒飯？我傾向于炒飯，昨晚煲的飯沒怎么動過，今早吃了它吧?！?amp;lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;xj0ewVUZIaTqg8ydsncPif52Mbz1t9JHKAYk6Gh7&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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我起身穿衣，床上本來安靜的人突然開口：“方一凡。”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;NKrja7bse15nZPhzkdvOiEo8RXFlVwuYGyIW2SU6&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“嗯？還是你更想吃面條，那……”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;kE03VSo7BY5vLWMNCUadnXqImbZy4iPfDzsgl8TQ&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“你喜歡孩子嗎？”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;Zx8S5jA1iBJybrNnuHsDoQCYXz73PvKh4fTpRekt&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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我沒反應過來，話題怎么突然……&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;jThZ4AxOkz65lCR9WEyXJnYMoPUcBLHdeb2sgifr&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“你好像很喜歡，”她沒等我回答，一個人自說自話，“你給我的信里其中有一封說你想要個女兒，一個漂亮聰明的孩子，照你的條件找一個和你登對的人結(jié)婚生子，實現(xiàn)這一愿望并不難。雖然你現(xiàn)在的年齡不算大，但……”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;iX8WnJpx57mdHSEYIVtNAjcOa3ZC29GzL1roqsQk&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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“英寶！”我打斷她，盯著被子下單薄的身子，“你說這些話是什么意思？”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;6pqL5CPWoJ7bSvTkh9tQ4s8X1eBrUKEVijHlZcDF&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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胸腔燃燒著怒火，她若無其事說著我和別人結(jié)婚生子，就像說一個無關(guān)痛癢的人，明明昨晚我們就做著能生子的事，她怎么能轉(zhuǎn)身推我向別人。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;jpGYCXLM3rPgaAl7qSeR9Nk5F1JEQ62W0uhUbfIT&lt;/blockquote&gt;

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我喉嚨干澀，“你希望我和別人結(jié)婚生子？”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;QjmnUJ2KNFhVgAiOsPG37HITrkaZceXpw1bo6M4W&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;dkyOQxZM4JvtHBLWGs8Ab5eSIjD0ClhfgF9X2zrR&lt;/blockquote&gt;

她沉默了一會兒，“難道你想和我結(jié)婚生子嗎？”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;nrIbRuwMsXfFBe7VlqOtxLWPm3E8HSzQ6pgk4hDZ&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;xECdtuA89s1DIhq35JKyLMcVPFSmZrUio7B0NWvw&lt;/blockquote&gt;

“不然呢？”我嗤笑出聲，“我現(xiàn)在做的一切是個笑話嗎？我方一凡如果有一天要結(jié)婚有自己的孩子，那孩子的母親只能是那個叫喬英子的女人，我結(jié)婚共度一生的人，也只能是喬英子。我這樣說你明白了嗎？”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;VWxeEo6w4dsvulkJMFUfLZ9H0OQIaXr5B2DnNYg1&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;79rVaWjFNqspTfmB1klvHQSz8x3bXUGeZL5JYAOy&lt;/blockquote&gt;

房間里很安靜，她慢慢起身，被子滑落露出她白皙光滑的肩臂，烏黑長發(fā)掩住她一半臉，她低眼看被單，一字一句慢慢說著，“你需要我的身體，我可以給你，但我不會結(jié)婚，也不會有孩子。”&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;pjPH5vIskVE7rcKGRXilwxg9u2nhqS4eAfzBQDZ1&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;XzG7Z4DSEQc3oLnTmsPb2jkBeHN10aq9UvytIdAK&lt;/blockquote&gt;

“結(jié)婚只是形式，孩子也只是錦上添花。就算沒有那些我也沒關(guān)系，有你我就滿足，但我要的不僅是你的身體，還有你的心?！蔽夷抗馍畛?。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;Fn3ESZxUgdBY608QuLvwAHWVDbokTclatqGzjKps&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;C4sPqBu8e3ca6yDRz9O1X0SHlxVWjkKh7AIn2FG5&lt;/blockquote&gt;

她面無表情，“我早就說過，我沒有心了，給不起你要的。你把大好年華浪費在我身上不值得?！?amp;lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;ZFXUN3HujohYA9kspODJn06yz57qwvgcxTrQLd8t&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;WtNDOgqI9v8e5SQGpu02koXRKFAY3ZnMdbahHyEr&lt;/blockquote&gt;

“所以昨晚你只是為了滿足我的欲望費盡心力來配合我嗎？所以你覺得我和你在一起只是貪你的身子？”我苦澀又無力地笑，“喬英子，你太小看我了?！?amp;lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;UXvjRwELqgKamCDr90e3fzkuopbth6JN2FWYPQI8&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;KrSgZ0eEwtRB9GqLOUy4PjH6szbIumVnDad2JXCh&lt;/blockquote&gt;

說完我轉(zhuǎn)身從房間里出去，我需要時間冷靜，心里一遍又一遍勸誡自己，她生病了，我應該對她寬容。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;DaYmcxwd7Ce5TVXt9nJSpj8b3l1sLPqkAB6yHEWQ&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;FM91YW0bIqyuixtlBzeXKm2hURsjQfPcDgp3ZoAG&lt;/blockquote&gt;

一個人去廚房，生著悶氣開始做早餐，恨恨地想，生病了不起？就能這樣欺負我嗎！費心費力伺候你幾個月不落好，就知道拿話刺我，我的心也不是銅墻鐵壁做的，也會痛?。∑匠Ｕf四五句話回一句就不錯了，今天吧啦吧啦和我講這么多我不愛聽的屁話，不想聽都攔不住，真不知道我是該哭該笑。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;bK0BgTPjaZlNUtAIGLF98mic1JuCoSVw3k2HsErD&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;jSBWmltqDrd9pPvubC0HR1nY732ozwxsZEgXycVK&lt;/blockquote&gt;

鍋鏟被我鏟得唰唰響，恨不得鍋底鏟出個洞，一餐不做餓死你得了！&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;fTyhdrJ9e08ptPz3aMqwxUnoXKj4VIg157FHuCBE&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;482oFkLEzljyJTCbcNdAqnPwIB0uYZXR5mMDvxKW&lt;/blockquote&gt;

想是這么想，身體還是老老實實煮了面炒了飯，然后踏著步子去敲她房門，“早餐做好了，出來吃?！?amp;lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;D43tNQYlUR2yLuSvkKoBiCAGbmxEeTWsgzhawFOr&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;6msHu3XNjidBZQWS59MIhb2vFRqnlODg7oxT0wPK&lt;/blockquote&gt;

回到餐桌拿起勺子，耳朵豎著聽動靜。&lt;blockquote cite=&#039;<a href="https://.po18.tw/&#039;" target="_blank">https://.po18.tw/&#039;</a> class=&#039;copyright&#039; style=&#039;background:#fff; border-left:5px solid #4a84ce; padding:20px 50px;&#039;&gt;ejXP0hJizUDsHCcm5TKyIEvOpfNdunVMSBka6GYW&lt;/blockquote&gt;